Garn Butcherson: Sapient Zombie, Guild Master of the Thieves Guild, Trickster.  

Nicknames: The Man of Long Knives and Short Wit, The Garnish, The Twit, The Dancer, The Cook, The Butcher, The Bored, The One who Makes up Titles, The Shadow, The Blue Boy, The Master of the Labyrinth, The Rat of the Ways, and The Master of Cana Lugar. You may speak to Garn for a longer and more stupid list. 

Garn was born the son of a butcher, intelligent, cunning, and good with numbers. When his father died, he took over the family business, and when the Guild came knocking for dues, he talked his way into their ranks and, in short order, proved he was both a competent thief and a very capable accountant. Between thieving and accounting, he earned his reputation with little bloodshed and made himself a valuable lieutenant to the Guild Masters. When the plague broke out and time shattered, he was one of the few original inhabitants of Sarabrand to be washed in the decaying land far in the future. What he lacked in ability to fight, he made up for in ability to taunt, aggravate, annoy, and humiliate as he danced through shadows and prodded his foes in the arse safely behind any weapon they might have and still generally lost. He annoyed one threat enough to be captured and forcefully afflicted with the plague. Unfortunately for them, Drama decided they enjoyed the Thief’s antics and restored the eternal zombie’s sapience. He now rules the Thieves Guild as its highest and only remaining member! Has made himself a home in the secret rat ways beneath the city, is a master cook and butcher, and is a guide to new arrivals to the madness of Sarabrand. He has spent endless time building a great labyrinth full of pilfered treasure, with the aid of Drama, featuring challenges, muses, and set dressings. Garn knows how to fight terribly with a rapier, throw knives with precision, and how to earn and get his ass kicked in a dozen languages.

Garn the Garnished is slightly shorter than average, slim, with a nose that has been broken many, many, many times and has been set right in an eternity. His face is scarred, with gleaming eyes of moonlit silver caught in a light fog of cataracts. He wears tight leather pants, subtly heeled boots to bring him to average height, a blue silk vest, a leather bandolier full of daggers, and a blouse he’s convinced is a pirate shirt. He has short, greasy black hair and a lopsided smile with a slight snaggle tooth. Some say he’s ugly, some know he is, and others find him somehow charming as he terrorizes and annoys antagonistic forces that cause drama across Sarabrand.  

Recent Posts

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• Relics of the Dead Age: The Champion’s Chains.
• Factions of the Dead Age: The Zen.
• Setting: Faded Memories.
• Survivors of Sarabrand: Siamak Fandango, The Fantastic.